Musicians who were better/worst as a solo act

Musicians who were better solo than with a group/band.
(In no particular order)

Michael Jackson - The Jackson 5
I really like the music of the Jackson 5, however no one can deny the overwhelming success of MJ after going solo. He had hit after hit after hit, and will go down as possibly the greatest solo act of all time.

Diana Ross - The Supremes
A great motown act of the 60's, but Ross was too big a star to share the stage. She butted heads with her fellow Supreme-mates when they were a group and even after they reunited years later. Ross had many hit singles by her lonesome. When you think of Diana Ross you do not necessarily think of the Supremes, but when you think of the Supremes you always think of Diana Ross.

Peter Gabriel - Genesis
I loved Genesis in the 80's. Right up until everyone started thinking it was a good idea to go solo. Gabriel left, Collins left, and that was when I said, "Ya know what, I'm not so into this group anymore."
Thankfully their departure had a silver lining, and that is the success of Peter Gabriel's solo career. Shock The Monkey, Sledgehammer, In Your Eyes, the list goes on and on. He has achieved multi-platinum status on singles and albums that other musicians would pay to have.

Justin Timberlake - 'N Sync
I'll be perfectly honest, I had to look up which boy band Timberlake was apart of. I didn't listen to his music back then, and I hardly listen to any of it now, however that which I have heard, some of it I actually enjoy. JT has grown as an artist and become much more tolerable to the masses. Getting away from 'N Sync and going solo was the best thing for his career.

Van Morrison - Them
How many people have even heard of Morrison's old band, Them? That's what I thought. Because once he left, the real magic began. Brown Eyed Girl was born shortly after the split and Morrison started his launch into Rock and Roll history.

Billy Idol - Generation X
Idol is another musician who hit the ground running as a solo artist. With hits like, Mony Mony, White Wedding, Eyes Without A Face, and Rebel Yell, he was poised to have many years of success with his solo career.

Marvin Gaye - The Moonglows
I would be willing to bet that many people probably don't know that Marvin Gaye was once a part of a doo-wop group called the Moonglows.  That is because Marvin Gaye broke out as an artist when he went on his own.  When we think of the great Marvin Gaye we think of him singing solo, not a small part of a larger group. 

Lou Reed - The Velvet Underground
While with VU, he was already the principal song writer.  Once he went solo in '71, he recorded hits such as Walk On The Wild Side, Ride Sally Ride, & Sally Can't Dance.  Reed is 70 and still performing a small amount and writing music.  He is one of those musicians who will be rockin' the stage until the day he dies.

David Bowie - The Konrads, Riot Squad, Tin Machine, Et Al.
Another super star whose bands you have likely never even heard of. Bowie was always meant to be a single act. Space Oddity, Ziggy Stardust, these are the songs legends are made of.

Peter Frampton - Humble Pie
We might not have ever known his name if he didn't go solo.  Frampton did five albums with Humble Pie before going out on his own.  After a few years he broke out with his hit album, Frampton Comes Alive, which included hits like, Baby I Love Your Way, Do You Feel Like We Do, & Show Me The Way.  A great guitarist, great singer-songwriter, and great solo act.


and now, the reverse...
Worst solo than in a group/band


Gwen Stefani - No Doubt
Some may argue this one with me, but I stand by this statement.  Gwen Stefani was better when she was with No Doubt.  As a band, they put out hit after hit, and gave an amazing live performance.  Solo....she had a couple of okay singles, but she was never as good as she was with the band.  Don't get me wrong, Stefani MAKES that band what it is, but they are better as a team than alone.

All of the Beatles
Every member of the Beatles has done music on their own.  Some achieved better success than others.  But they're the freaking Beatles!  Four of the greatest musical talents of all time.  Okay, maybe not, but definitely three of the best (sorry Ringo).  They were basically the Dream Team of music.  Together they made up the greatest band in history.  Apart, they are just four extremely talented musicians.

Freddie Mercury - Queen
He lived a lackluster solo career without his fellow band members.  Granted, he recorded some music that charted well in the UK, but seriously, that was nothing compared to the legendary success of Queen.

Steve Perry - Journey
Perry actually had the potential to have great success post Journey, with a very successful first solo album.  But life got in the way for Perry and his second solo album, Against The Wall never got finished.  In the mid 90's he finally did finish a second solo album that achieved only mild success.  Just a couple of years later Journey reunited and released the Trial By Fire record, which was a huge success.  Proof that Journey was a band that will stand the test of time, but "Steve Perry Solo Artist" will not.

All of Kiss
They are no Beatles, but the same idea applies.  Kiss was a band that had millions of adoring fans.  Their solo albums did well, but these guys need each other - crazy makeup and all.  They were good alone, but great as a group.  

Mick Jagger - The Rolling Stones
It's the freaking Stones man!  Jagger is good with or without the Stones, but in my opinion, he needed the Stones slightly more than the Stones needed him.

Dave Matthews - The Dave Matthews Band
I love Dave Matthews.  He is one of my favorite musicians of all time.  And alone, sure, he's good, but DMB is better.  It should not have ever been called the Dave Matthews Band - Dave Matthews himself will admit that.  The guys that play with him are masters of their craft.  They bring a sound to this rock band unlike any other. 

Eddie Vedder - Pearl Jam
It was hard for me to put Eddie Vedder on this list.  First, he is my favorite singer of all time.  His voice is just amazing.  Second, his solo albums have been very good and Ukulele Songs was one of my favorite albums by him.  But Pearl Jam made Vedder who he is today.  He could always sing, he could even write some decent music, but he was not a musician until he joined them.  Oh, he was in other bands, but if it had not been for musicians like Jack Irons or Chris Cornell, he might not have found the missing pieces of the puzzle.  Who knows if he would have ever become the name he is today.    

Sting - The Police
I really like Sting, and I even considered putting him on the other list.  But after thinking about the music of the Police and the music of Sting, the solo artist, my favorite music of his was easily when he was with the band.  This could easily be debated though.  The Police released five chart-topping albums and won six Grammy awards.  Of the ten solo albums Sting released, seven of them went platinum or multi-platinum.  Obviously he had a great solo career, but I think the Police had better songs.

David Lee Roth - Van Halen
Roth went solo for a number of years before reuniting with Van Halen in '07.  His solo career achieved some success, but it was nothing compared to the status of Van Halen.  The band had the kind of record sales other musicians can only dream of.  Platinum is a term Van Halen knows well, since almost all of their albums have reached that status, and most went multi-platinum.  

My Top Ten Favorite Films

Every ten years Sight & Sound Magazine releases their list of the Greatest Films Of All Time.  My older brother did his own top ten greatest films, which can be viewed here: http://mattbailey97.blogspot.com/2012/05/ten-greatest-films-of-all-time.html

I personally do not feel that I have seen enough of the 'great films' to be able to make such a list.  Perhaps in 2022, when they do that list again my film portfolio will be better equipped to make that call.  For now, I will leave you with what I consider, not necessarily the "best" movies, but instead, my favorite movies over my 31 years of viewing.  


MY TOP TEN FAVORITE FILMS:

Braveheart
Pulp Fiction
The Shawshank Redemption
Walk The Line
Blow
Fight Club
The Godfather
Indiana Jones - Last Crusade
Forrest Gump
Rocky

HONORABLE MENTION:
Dazed and Confused
Bad Boys
Almost Famous
Cool Hand Luke
Christmas Vacation
The Departed
Die Hard
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
The Boondock Saints
Seven
Star Wars - Empire Strikes Back
Silence of the Lambs

Top 20 Best Song Intros

This is not judgment of the songs themselves, but merely the intros to each song. This is my list of the most greatest song intros.
I decided to leave commentary off of these picks since some I could ramble about for pages and pages, and others I could hardly write 3 words about.

Honorable Mention
Smoke on the Water – Deep Purple
Welcome to the Jungle - Guns N Roses
Time - Pink Floyd
Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd

20) Jump - Van Halen


19) La Grange – ZZ Top


18) Gimme Shelter – The Rolling Stones


17) Crazy On You - Heart


16) Johnny B Goode - Chuck Berry


15) Eye of the Tiger – Survivor


14) When the Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin


13) Where The Streets Have No Name - U2


12) Fooling yourself - Styx


11) Black Betty - Ram Jam


10) Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix


9) Baba O' Reily - The Who


8) Shipping Up To Boston - Dropkick Murphys


7) Yellow Ledbetter - Pearl Jam


6) Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne


5) Free Bird - Lynyrd Skynyrd


4) Thunderstruck - AC/DC


3) All Along the Watchtower – Jimi Hendrix


2) Guns N Roses - Sweet Child O'Mine


1) Money For Nothing - Dire Straits

Super Bowl XLVI - A Review

Super Bowl XLVI came and went once again, and it is time for me to give my review. First the game. It was good. Not the best Super Bowl, but likely in the top ten. It was a close match up and went down to the last play of the game, so there was excitement there. I was not disappointed.

Next, the half time show. Super Bowl half time shows are hard to do. Everyone is always overly critical of them and they almost always let down a big percentage of viewers. My take on Madanna? Eh, she was fine. I thought the show started off slow, but picked up pace as it went along. Moments before LMFAO appeared with the Material Girl, my wife and I were talking and agreed that these half time shows are always better when they mix several different artists into the performance - especially new & old performers. While Madanna was by herself, it was just so-so. Once others got into the game, it improved. Not that I am much of a LMFAO or Cee Lo Green fan, and I can't stand MIA or Nicki Manaj, but somehow their presence still made the show a little better. Best half time show ever? No. I doubt it even falls into the top 10. But it was decent. Madonna at 53 years old was still surprisingly lively. Not the best, but not the worst I've seen.

Now to the commercials. While there were a few really good commercials, overall I was let down this year. Here is my list of what was HOT, what was NOT, and what was just sorta LUKE WARM.

HOT
Hyundai, Rocky Theme - Not really the most creative, but sometimes simpler is better. A fine spot for any Rocky fan to enjoy.
VW, Fat puppy - A very solid spot. The only downside was the end with the whole Star Wars thing. If I were judging that part separately, it would have been much lower on the list, as that was a pretty lame ending. Maybe if they had used the little kid dressed up like Vadar like last year they could've made it cute, but that part let me down. Even still, the first 50 seconds of that spot were solid, so it stays in the "HOT" position.
Doritos, Missing cat - This one was solid. I really enjoyed the creative humor with it. I felt like this commercial was the way Super Bowl spots used to be. Oh, and come to find out, a Joe-Nobody made that spot for a contest Doritos put on. Even more impressive! It was, by far, one of the best of the night.
Acura, Seinfeld - This one to me was awesome, but then again, I am a die hard Seinfeld fan. I think it was good for any Seinfeld fans, but for those who might not enjoy that show & sense of humor (I think they're called 'aliens') they might not have "gotten" it. But who cares about those people? This is what I like best!
Honda, Bueller - If you were born anytime before 1985, there is no way possible you could not find this spot to be awesome. Those youngsters born AB (after Bueller) should 1) have still seen the movie at least 6 times by now, and 2) still have loved that commercial. If you didn't, you are probably a terrorist.


LUKE WARM
M&M's, Gettin' Naked - Eh, it was so-so. I think I let out a single, "Ha" towards the end. Just enough to keep it on this list.
Coke, Polar Bears, The Catch - Eh, out off all the bad Coke commercials this year, this one was probably the best, but still not great.
Audi, So long vampires - Pretty funny in the end. I started off rolling my eyes at the idea, but once the vamps started getting killed off, it got better. Still, the vampire thing is so over played, I can't give it better than a 'Luke Warm' rating.
Bridgestone, football passing - It was cute, pretty creative and sorta funny. But just not good enough to be one of those great commercials everyone talks about the next day around the water cooler.
Tax Act.com, Kid has to pee - Pretty good for what it was. The kid has to pee, and long story short, pees in the pool. Don't really remember what that had to do with taxes, but whatever. I'm sure it had some sort of 'be prepared' message behind it, or 'don't piss your pants, it's tax season'. Yeah, that second one was probably it.
Sketchers, Mr quigly - This one was sorta cute and somewhat funny. Maybe if it had been really cute and hilarious I would have ranked it better.
Fiat, Seduction - It was just so-so. I know sex sells and all, but we have all seen attractive women (that lady was nothing special BTW). Super Bowl ads need more than sex. They need smart writing, creativity, shock value, something more than what this commercial delievered.
Chevy, Sonic Stunts - I dunno, kinda cool I guess, especially since they were all real stunts, but still. Something just didn't do it for me.
Chevy, Comaro Freak Out - To me, a person freaking out like that just isn't funny. If anything it's kind of annoying. The idea was there though, had they just taken it a slightly different direction.
Oikos Yogurt, John Stamos - gets gets his ass kicked. That and that alone made that spot pretty excellent.
Chevy, Apocalypse - It was decent & a bit creative. Combining mass destruction with "Looks Like We Made It" was a nice move. Plus, they called out Ford. Ha! Oh, and the guy eating Twinkies was the cherry on top.
Budweiser, Here We Go - A pretty decent commercial! Finally! Bud got back to normal with their funny light hearted 'Here We Go' ad after a fist full of let downs. Did anyone else notice too that Budweiser didn't put up nearly the number of ads this Super Bowl as they have in the past? Guess the car companies took all the air time.


NOT
Pepsi, Elton John's Kingdom - Lame. Enough said.
Hyundai, Cheeta - Not funny, not creative, just bad.
Bud Light, Platinum spots - Lame as shit - all of them. Yes, you are introducing a new beer. Do it with your normal Budweiser humor. You guys are usually so good! What happened?
Go Daddy, Sexy Commercials - Stupid as usual. Go Daddy has never been good and never will be if they don't change the formula.
Budweiser, Prohibition - Good build up with big let down. Disappointment.
Coke, The Yell - Polar bear gets out of the cave, yells (cause he is frustrated with his team) and goes back into the cave. Oh, and then he drinks a Coke. If I pitched that idea to a client they would probably take their business elsewhere. Lame.
Coke, Straw - This is the one where the two polar bears are watching the game, seemingly cheering on opposite sides (indicated by their red & blue scarves) and one polar bear gives the other a coke and then puts a straw in it. I dunno, I just didn't get it. Thought it was pretty stupid all around.
Cars.com, Double head - A little disturbing and not funny at all. Someone should get fired over that spot.
Doritos, baby sling shot - Eh, sorta cute, but not funny. Nice try though.
Etrade, speed dating - Not funny, not good. Again, enough said.
Careerbuilder, Monkeys - The monkeys were not funny several years ago when they started using them, still not funny today. Find a new gimmick.

Best Names In Cinema

20)Cole Trickle - Days of Thunder
19)Walker & Texas Ranger - Talladega Nights
18)Jeffrey Lebowski (The Dude) - The Big Lebowski
17)Prince Humperdink - Princess Bride
16)Royal Tenenbaum - The Royal Tenenbaums
15)Gaylord Focker - Meet The Parents
14)Indiana Jones - Indiana Jones Series
13)Wes Mantooth - Anchorman
12)Shane Falco - The Replacements
11)Han Solo - Star Wars
10)Rocky Balboa - Rocky Series
9)Long Duck Dong - Sixteen Candles
8)Pussy Galore - James Bond
7)Merkin Muffley - Dr. Strangelove
6)Ferris Bueller – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
5)Inigo Montoya - The Princess Bride
4)Forrest Gump - Forrest Gump
3)Lloyd Dobbler - Say Anything
2)Keyer Soze - The Usual Suspects
1)Hannibal Lecter - Silence of the Lambs, et al

Top Ten Football States

Top Ten Football States (for 'winningness')
Scored based on National Championships won in High School, College & Professional Football


10 - New York & Massachusetts (30pts)

9 - Indiana & Michigan (31pts)

8 - Alabama (32pts)

7 - Connecticut (36pts)

6 - Ohio (39pts)

5 - Florida (41pts)

4 - Texas (46pts)

3 - New Jersey (53pts)

2 - Pennsylvania (68pts)

1 - California (73pts)



How some of the other states scored:
Georgia - 22
Illinois - 22
Maryland - 17
Oklahoma - 16
Louisiana - 13
Wisconsin - 12
Minnesota - 12
Nebraska - 10
Tennessee - 10
Colorado - 8
Arkansas - 6
Mississippi - 5
Kansas - 4
Virginia - 3
Washington - 3
Missouri - 3
Oregon - 3
Kentucky - 2
New Hampshire - 2
Utah - 2
South Carolina - 2
Iowa - 2
Arizona - 1

Top Ten Fake Characters On Seinfeld

10 - Paloma & Wanda Pepper - Both aliases used by Elaine, Paloma is the name she used when she posed as Uncle Leo's nurse in order to get a diagnosis for herself (she is a difficult patient). Wanda Pepper was an alias she used in order to retrieve a jacket for Kramer.

9 - Dylan Murphy - Jerry's made up name when he and George take Donald O'Brien's limo. They think they are going to watch the Knicks play, but soon realize they are actually on their way to a rally where O'Brien, the head of the regional chapter of a Neo-Nazi organization, is supposed to give his first public speech. Oops.

8 - Eduardo Corrochio - When George and Elaine go to dinner with a married couple, Elaine tells everyone this elaborate story that she once dated a romantic Spanish matador, whose name she makes up on the spot. What a great name!

7 - Kel Varnsen - The alias used by Jerry in order to help George with Vandelay Inc. He uses the alias again when he joins Kramer (posing as a wealthy industrialist) to watch the Mets game in an apartment that is up for sale.

6 - Whitey Fisk - George's imaginary summer friend. George was always jealous of Jerry and his summer camp friend, Fragile Frankie Merman. Whitey Fisk was supposed to be his "summer Jerry", but it was all a farce.

5 - Martin van / Peter von Nostrand - One of Kramer's favorite alter egos, sometimes he is Dr. Martin van Nostrand, once in order to get Elaine's medical chart. He also posed as Martin to audition for the role of Kramer in Jerry & George's pilot, Jerry. Kramer also presented himself as Peter von Nostrand in an attempt to retrieve a jacket from a man's apartment.

4 - Snoopy & Prickly Pete - The names of George's two imaginary horses he keeps at his fictional Hampton's estate. "All right, we're taking it up a notch!"

3 - H.E. Pennypacker - Kramer posed as a "wealthy industrialist" a couple of times - most memorably in Putumyo clothing store to help Elaine get revenge and again when Kramer needs to use the bathroom and sees an apartment for sale.

2 - Susie - Elaine's alter ego, Susie is believed to be real by at least two of her co-workers. When Elaine tries to kill her off, a funeral is arranged for her and Peterman claims to have had an affair with Suze (she hates when people call her that).

1 - Art Vandelay - George's alter ego is in so many episodes it is hard to count or keep track. Sometimes George works for Vandelay, sometimes George IS Vandelay, and in the Finale, the judge is actually named, Arthur Vandelay.

Best / Worst Television Fathers

THE BEST

10 - Tim Taylor, Home Improvement
The Tool Man might not have always had all the answers. His 'inventions' might not have always worked the way he planned, but Tim Taylor was a damn decent father. He shared the burden of raising 3 boys with his wife and made it through some difficult times seeking out the Confucius-like advice from his neighbor. Juggling 3 boys that close in age would be hard on any parents. The fact that Tim did it without screwing them up too terribly much is amazing. Plus, he was a pretty funny SOB.

9 - Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
I know what you're thinking..."But Homer is a drunken buffoon! He should be on the worst list." Trust me, I considered it. But then I thought about it and while yes, Simpson is not the ideal father figure (he chokes Bart, is lazy, stupid) he does love his kids and his heart is almost always in the right place. How many fathers would pretend to be a robot and get the living crap beat out of them in one of those robot battles, just to make their son happy? Homer would, and that's why he's my #9.


8 - Howard Cunningham, Happy Days
Also known as "Mr. C", Howard was the type of family man that many would consider the 'fathering total package.' He was loving, generous and friendly but he was also set on the children (his or not) following the rules. Mr. C had a pair of well adjusted children of his own, but he also played a father role towards Potsie, Fonzie & Ralph - a few of his son's friends. The Fonz even lived in Mr. C's garage for a while. Thanks Mr. C.


7 - Carl Winslow, Family Matters
A hard working police officer and fine role model, Carl went above and beyond the call of duty when it came to fatherhood. Not only did he raise 3 fairly normal children, but he also moved his mother into their house, moved his sister-in-law and her son into their house (Carl was a father figure to his nephew, Richie) and even adopted an orphan named 3J. How many bedrooms where in that house? On top of that you have the crazy friends and neighbors Carl must put up with on a daily basis. Carl maintains his father figure role with the legendary Steve Urkel as well. That alone should earn him a spot on the list.

6 - Danny Tanner, Full House
Full House set the stage for unconventional families. A widower living with his brother-in-law & best friend who all help raise his 3 children. After Uncle Jesse marries Becky, they add twin boys to the family tree. Dan is a dad to the children and adults alike in this show. He is always the voice of reason, the stable, loving dad that any kid could wish for. Oh, and he's neat. Like obsessive compulsive neat. He likes things clean. Which is good for kids I assume. The cherry on top, Danny Tanner is a huge dork, which for some reason in this show, makes him really cool.

5 - Tony Micelli, Who's The Boss?
Another single father (and another widower), Tony is the cool, loving dad all us guys hope to be (except for the single part). Loved by the ladies, adored by his kid and his bosses son, Jonathan (good name btw), Tony always has a smile on his face and is always willing to help a total stranger. He cooked, he cleaned, but he was also a man's man - a former baseball pro and still very macho guy. When Samantha would say, "My dad can beat up your dad", she was right. And that's all us men really want anyway...to beat up other dads (or at least appear to be able to).

4 - Mike Brady, The Brady Bunch
This poor bastard was bad off enough when it was him and his 3 boys. Then the sorry sap went and married 60's hottie, Carol, & doubled his offspring. He should have run the other direction the minute she said she had three kids. Oh well. Mike Brady makes the list for being able to put up with 6 freakin' kids and all their crazy shenanigans. He was a solid father figure and a good role model, although maybe not the brightest. BTW....what the hell were they paying architects back then? 6 kids, stay-at-home wife, maid, and a huge house!? Hmmm....maybe Mr. Brady was working for George Jung in his spare time.

3 - Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show
Another widower, Sheriff Taylor raised a little boy named Opie in the town of Mayberry. Andy was a awesome role model, spending quality time with his son (fishing!) and teaching him to always do the right thing. Not much else to say about him. He's freakin' Andy Taylor!


2 - Philip Banks, Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air
He could have almost been my #1. Philip Banks was rich, which made him a great provider. But that is not even a fraction of what made him a great father. He was tough. Like really really tough. He did not take it easy on his kids, or his nephew, like many wealthy parents would....no, he stood up for them, punished them, whooped their ass if need be...all for their own good. He is the type of dad you won't always like, but you will always respect. He is the type of dad that will mold you into a really decent adult, and you will always look up to.

1 - Cliff Hucktable, The Cosby Show
The top TV dad was easy for me. I grew up watching The Huxtables, and always admired Cliff and his parenting ways. The Cosby Show broke through racial barriers with this impressive family. Cliff and Claire had high paying, respectable jobs (a doctor and a lawyer). Cliff brought humor, honesty, and 'tellin' it like it is' parenting to a whole new level. Although the Huxtables should have had the financial means (as much or more than anyone else on this list) to give their kids the easy life, or even to make raising all five of their kids easier (like the Brady's did with Alice), Cliff & Claire took the entire burden of parenting on themselves and taught their kids all about life, love, failure, success, and even how to pull off an awesome 'Cosby' sweater.

THE WORST

10 - Archie Bunker, All In The Family
He was a toss up to me, because in many ways Archie loved his kids. However, he was also the worst role model those kids could have asked for. Dad was racist, sexist, and downright crude at times. He called his son-in-law "meathead" and was generally bad tempered, however over the years he did grow slightly more accepting of different cultures & religions. Because his heart was often in the right place, even though he was still kinda rotten overall, he is no higher than #10 on the worst list.


9 - Frank & Ray Barone, Everybody Loves Raymond

Like father like son. These two are just plain bad dads. Frank spends the majority of his on camera time belittling his two sons - throwing insult after insult at them. Ray is a bumbling father figure (nothing much to be proud of) and hardly ever spends any quality time with his kids. I am pretty sure all three of his children were 'woopsies' and he regrets not practicing safer sex. Everybody loves Raymond....except his kids.

8 - Frank Costanza, Seinfeld
There were not many times you did not hear him yelling, whether it be at his son, his wife, or a total stranger. Frank even invented a Christmas time holiday in which you tell your family members the ways they have disappointed you over the past year (the airing of grievances), and these festivities do not end until someone can pin the head of the household to the floor (the feats of strength). In true Seinfeld fashion, Frank is more concerned about baseball than his own child. In "The Caddy", after Steinbrenner tells the Costanzas of their son's apparent death, Frank seems indifferent and instead demands to know why he would trade Yankee ball player Jay Buhner away. Gee, thanks dad.

7 - Al Bundy, Married With Children
Al Bundy was sort of a more modern version of Archie Bunker, but much worse. He is the epitome of an underachiever, as he works as a women's shoes salesman, earning minimum wage. He insults his wife on a daily basis and was not beneath lying, cheating, or stealing to make a buck or get his way. He lost his job multiple times, drank to excess, and the highlight of his day seemed to be sitting on the couch with his hand down his pants. No one in the neighborhood seemed to really like him and in one episode when it was thought that he had died, the neighbors sang with joy, only to be disappointed when they discovered it was not true.

6 - Don Draper, Mad Men
Don is a man's man. He leads the life that many would almost idolize. That doesn't mean he is a good person, and definitely not a great dad. When he isn't out having affairs, drinking to excess, or lying to everyone who knows him, he is a less than attentive father who sits his kids in front of the TV to keep them busy, hires a babysitter to help out the majority of the time so he doesn't have to work as hard at being a 'dad' and even leaves them completely (with the babysitter) to go sleep around with his lady friends. And this is on the days of the week the kids come to stay with him via the divorce! Nice quality time with dad....or not.

5 - George Oscar Bluth, Sr, Arrested Development
George was once the CEO of the Bluth Company, however he was imprisoned after an investigation found he had been conducting some "creative accounting" practices. Unfortunately for him, that was only the tip of the iceberg. In prison he tries to continue to control the company and undermines his son, Michael, and his authority. Mix in a business partnership with Saddam Hussein, faking his own death and escaping to Mexico, and inventing the faulty "Cornballer" (which was banned in several countries) and you have a recipe for daddy disaster.

4 - Tony Soprano, The Sopranos
This one just seems obvious to me. Yeah, he loves his kids (in his own way), but if he really loved them and cared about their well-being, he would not repeatedly put them in harms way...ya know, being in the mob and all. He is actually more attentive and caring than many of the dads on this list. He goes their his kids school events and tries to give them a good life, hopefully one not like the life of crime he chose. However, Tony also tortures and kills people. He puts his kids in harms way more than once, he lies to them constantly and does not represent the adult even he would want them to grow up to be, thus the reason he is #4 on my list.

3 - Dexter Morgan, Dexter
Yes, the serial killer we all can't help but love is my #3. Dexter is a sociopath who adheres to a 'code' of killing (he only kills bad people / other murders). Really, it is the perfect vigilante justice, but unfortunately for him, not the type of world we live in. Eventually Dexter breeds and ends up with a son named Harrison. While we all love Dexter and while he is not a bad father in many ways, you can't ignore the fact that, while all bad people, he is murdering a plethora of men and women in a society where innocent until proven guilty is still something we like to regurgitate.

2 - Peter Griffin, Family Guy
If my #1 was not such a bad guy, Peter Griffin would have been. He is just awful. He verbally & physically abuses his daughter constantly. He treats his son only slightly better, but still parents like a total jackass. He is the worst role model you could ever be unlucky enough to have. Griffin is a retarded, alcoholic, menace to Quahog.


1 - Anthony Cooper, Lost
Who? Think about it. I'm talking about John Locke's biological father. In case you forgot what made him so bad, let's recap. He conned Sawyer's parents out of all their money, which caused Sawyer's dad to kill both his wife and himself. Later down the road, he tricked Locke into giving him a kidney, only to vanish once he was better, and the cherry on top - Cooper reappeared in Locke's life when he needed money, and dear ole' dad pushed his son out of an eight-story window, paralyzing him. If that doesn't earn ya worst TV father, I don't know what does.

Top Ten On Camera Girlfriends of Jerry Seinfeld (according to hotness)

10. Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus)



You gotta have her on the list. However, after watching her for so
many years, she becomes almost too familiar, like family, which is why she is no higher than #10.


9. Winona (Kimberly Norris)
She may be an Indian Giver, but she is still one of the more attractive girlfriends Jerry scored on the show.

I personally would love a cigar store Indian statue.






8. Donna Chang (Angela Dohrmann)

Everyone seeks her advice when they think she's one of those wise, foreign ladies with fortune cookie like advice. Well, she's not Chinese, but not too hard on the eyes either.

7. Claire (Sarah Peterson)

Helloooooooooooo! La la la.

She was quite the looker, talking navel and all, up until Kramer solved the world's energy problems by pushing a giant ball of oil out a window and on to Jerry's former girlfriend.

6. Nikki (Danette Tays)

She got whatever she wanted based on her looks. How could I not put her on the top ten list?

5. Melissa (Kathleen McClellan)

She was attractive, she was a nudist, and she opened Jerry's eyes to the differences between 'good' naked and 'bad' naked.

4. Patty (Lori Loughlin)

She started off as Becky in Full House but upgraded to Jerry's gf just a couple of years later as Patty.

As beautiful as she is, her downfall was wanting Jerry to show emotion. Once he opened those gates he couldn't stop.

3. Ellen (Christine Taylor)

She was a loser.

But at least she was a hot loser!

PS - Don't get mixed up with the Van Buren Boys.

("That's not the sign."

"It was when I was bangin!")

2. Jenna (Kristin Davis)

Fortunately for Seinfeld fans, I think Kristin Davis peaked during the mid-late 90's.

If only Jerry wasn't so hung up on germs.

He got over the toothbrush incident, but the toilet explosion was a deal breaker.

1. Sidra (Teri Hatcher)

My top pick probably does not come as a huge surprise to many of the Seinfeld faithful.

Hatcher was definitely at her top hotness during the Seinfeld era.

Jerry's loss is Jackie's gain.

"They're real, and they're spectacular."

Top 15 TV Shows That Were Canceled & Brought Back

15 - The Practice
14 - Get Smart
13 - Charles In Charge
12 - The Dick Van Dyke Show
11 - Chuck
10 - Unsolved Mysteries
9 - Taxi
8 - Scrubs
7 - Different Strokes
6 - Matlock
5 - Buffy
4 - Family Guy
3 - Gunsmoke
2 - Baywatch
1 - Star Trek

People are 'Pretty' Pissed

A website that is getting flack for booting members off their site. BeautifulPeople.com is a dating website designed exclusively for the best looking people, voted in by existing members. The less than pretty have been upset by this site's existence because it excluded them. Well now the shoe is on the other foot as thousands of Zoolander wannabees are getting the same treatment. Existing pretty people getting the boot after gaining holiday weight and projecting a "less than gorgeous" exterior.

My response?

Who the hell cares?! Are we remotely surprised that a site such as this one would kick people out for letting themselves slide? It is a site for pretty people! If someone ceases to maintain that 'beautiful' standard then BP.com should have the right to kick them out. Honestly, there are worst tragedies than losing your membership from such a vain website.

For those whom have been rejected by the site or find the site offensive, well, start your own site!

www.ugly.com
www.buttaface.org
www.onlyifiweredrunk.net
www.medicoreappearance.gov

Any of those sound good to me.

But seriously, there are a plethora of dating websites that cater to the masses, no matter what you look like. If sites like eHarmony, Spark, & Match.com can be based on inclusion, then why can't the opposite be allowed?

Let me take this moment to play the "USA" card. It's a free country, these people can create a private group for attractive people if they want to.

People in this damn country are so freaking sensitive. Really? Does THIS keep you up at night? If so, you need to get a support group cause your problems are bigger than this website.

Also, I am not familiar with the rules and regulations. Maybe you are required to submit new pictures every so often. But if not, then why would you upload a new less flattering picture? It is called BEAUTIFULPEOPLE.COM! You should have gotten kicked out for stupidity if nothing else.

Sure, they could have gone about it in a more socially pleasing way. Maybe give the 5,000 holiday fatties a deadline to lose the fat before ousted. Perhaps they could have given this warning upfront when members joined. But the thing is BP did send out an email telling them they could register again for the site when the extra pudge was gone.

Look, if it means that much to you, just look through a stack of old pictures and submit one of a thinner you instead of an actual up-to-date photo. Obviously your first pics got you past the velvet rope. It's the internet people, get sneaky if it means that much!

Inconvenient?

Yes, but at least they are still giving you a way back in. If you were a true conceited beauty (most people would have to be to join this site) you would welcome this wake up call and get your fat ass to the gym to work off the extra pounds. Those 5,000 should be sending thank you notes to BP for the motivation to get back in shape so they can continue to practice their narcissistic way of life.

For those of you who have not yet attempted to join BeautifulPeople.com - if rejection bothers you that much, ignorance is bliss, I say.

Chili Is Confusing

I don't know the reasoning, but people confuse local television stations channel 2 (NBC) and channel 4 (ABC) all the time. Yes, the two are in close proximity of each other, both being on the Mount P side of the Ravenel Bridge. Channel 4 even used to be the NBC affiliate, which may be a big cause of this confusion. But almost 14 years of ABC News 4 is not enough to end the mix-up between these two rival stations.

I will revisit this enigma again later.

On a related, but seemingly distant topic, the 10th annual chili cook-off took place this past weekend. Hundreds came out to support the Charleston Animal Society while stuffing themselves full of chili, oysters, and beverages.

Live 5 News showed their love for animals with a Mardi Gras theme, which earned them a predictable "Best Presentation" from the judges.

9th circuit solicitor, Scarlett Wilson, had one of the best chili recipes as well as a clever television themed display (Channel 9 News). Wilson took away a deserving "Most Traditional" award from the cook-off with her chili.

The people's choice award goes to the celebrities with the most money donated to their table, which of course goes to the Charleston Animal Society. I do not give this award too much credit since the celebs themselves or their close friends & family could easily drop their own cash in to sway the results. This year, Charleston County Councilman J. Elliott Summey dug deep into his pockets to take home the prize.

A couple of local celebs worth noting, despite the fact that they did not make a stand in the winner's circle, was Cpl. Paul Brouthers with the police department and Warren Peper with the Post & Courier. Both men added very tasty chili to the competition.

The final two trophies were for the "Most Unique" and "Best In Show." Although there were several unusual chili recipes, the Good Morning Charleston chili was honored with "Most Unique" while Channel 2's anomalous chili was awarded the grand prize of "Best In Show."

I am sure those on Coleman Blvd will defend their title to the end, but I think you will find that most people who ate both the "unique" and "best" chili that day would agree that there must have been a mix-up.

Not to say that NBC had a bad chili, in fact it was pretty decent, but ABC's recipe was, in my opinion, a little better. But whether or not you agree which chili tasted better, it is hard to argue with the fact that channel 2's chili was more unique than channel 4's.

Which brings me back to my original point - people are always confusing ABC 4 & NBC 2. Whether it be their location in Mount Pleasant, the talent that works at either station, or the chili they make, even the judges themselves get confused.

Don't believe me? Just look at these two hard facts.

(1) Channel 4's chili was made up of nothing out of the norm. It had beans, tomatoes, beef, some chopped veggies, a little spice, a great mix of flavor but nothing anyone would classify as "unique." I do not know everything that channel 2 had in their chili, but the chunks of steak definitely made it stand out, some might even say in a "unique" way.
(2) One judge told a member of channel 4 that he "really liked the big chunks of steak in their chili." Wrong station guys, turn the channel.

Hell, if nothing else, 4 should have received Scarlett's "Most Traditional" award, which is like the total opposite of unique!

Maybe I'm wrong, but in my expert opinion those last two chili awards were backwards. 2 should have gotten "Most Unique" and 4 should have taken home the belt for "Best In Show." Turn those two awards around and, unlike last year, the awards this year were pretty damn fair.

"I can screw you over"

I am very vocal about my distaste for law enforcement officers. While many do a lot of good it is completely eclipsed by the rotten, heartless, uncaring and unsympathetic ones.

Simply put, a lot of police officers are pricks.

Recently, Texans running back Ryan Moats was pulled over for running a red light while on his way to see his dying mother-in-law. Even in the rush to see his wife's mother in her final moments, Moats took the time to slow to a near stop to make sure there was no oncoming traffic before pursuing through the red traffic light.

Was it technically illegal? Of course. But we are humans and when something as serious as a dying family member is at the focus the time comes to put down your badge and practice a little empathy. The laws were not created so they could be abused by young, apathetic cops.

A 25 year old power tripping cop with a mere 3 years of experience on the force pointed a gun at his wife when they got out of their vehicle. This "officer" held Moats for more than 20 minutes.

When he finally was able to go inside the hospital to see his mother-in-law, she had passed away just moments before he arrived.

On the upside, the department dropped the charges and issued a public apology, however to me, it is too little too late.

The spokesman for the police department said, "At no time did Mr. Moats identify himself as an NFL football player or expect any kind of special consideration,"... "He handled himself very, very well."

I have mad respect for Ryan Moats after this confrontation. He was definitely the better man.

Yet another reason for me to dislike cops.

Protect and serve? My ass.

The Most Uncomfortable Time Of My Life

January, 2004. I am sitting in coach by the aisle. Some girl took my preferred window seat.

Call of nature.

I get up from my cramped space on the plane and make my way to an even more cramped bathroom. Upon exiting the bathroom I am greeted by a flight attendant.

This employee of the sky seems nice. I am asked about my trip to L.A. As I am about to walk back to my seat however, I realize that this conversation has not ended as I continue to receive a plethora of questions and comments.

The way the flight attendant was looking at me and talking to me seemed to be in a way that went beyond the typical airline duties.

Did I mention that this flight attendant was a man?

As the conversation continues it becomes more and more clear this dude does not play for my team. Not that there's anything wrong with that. There are some fine people playing for the other team, however they know to stay in their dugout.

He continues to ask about my trip and talk about various things that I have for the most part forgotten and much I never really heard to begin with. It was not that I was ignoring him, rather I was preoccupied attempting to mentally communicate with anyone and everyone on the plane even remotely looking in my direction to come save me from this awkwardness.

"Jon, come here, I need to show you this!"
"Well, looks like I need to go. See ya."

Much to my chagrin, no one seemed to have ESP. There was no saving Jon.

As the conversation continues the flight attendant talks to me about his home town in Miami, Florida. He tells me I should go for a visit and even offers to "show me around" the city.

What a nice guy!

The steward decides that he wants to exchange contact info and hands me his card, which I quickly slip into my pocket without even taking a glance at it.

He asked me for my contact information, but I was not about to offer that up. Then I would never be rid of him!

"Oh don't worry, I'll contact YOU", I told him. Thankfully he accepted this although I could see the disappointment in his face.

After several attempts to find an exit, I finally made my move away from this strange conversation and went back to my seat.

After several minutes of explaining my uncomfortable bathroom break to the girl sitting in my window seat, I remembered the card he gave me. I removed it from my pocket, and as I read it to myself.

The front of the card said the steward's name (which I no longer remember) as well as a little picture of a person rubbing down another person in the upper corner. Below it indicated that he was in fact some sort of masseuse.

When I turned the card over my eyes grew when I saw "FIRST MASSAGE FREE" written on the back.

Woah. Is this how he picks up guys?

The rest of the plane ride I avoided eye contact with my admirer and he did not bother me again.

Although awkward as hell at the time, it was pretty funny to think back on, especially since he did not kidnap me or anything.

Nice to know I am loved by both sexes.

Life is one strange, dubious trip.

Do you ever sit back and reflect on the past...however many years, and just stare blankly at this memory of your life. I feel like I just got started, but at the same time...where did the years go? Life is a series of changing friends and relationships. In the past 28 years, I have had 16 BEST friends....at least. Growing up I always thought you had one best friend your whole life and that was it, they were married to you in a platonic best friend kinda way forever. No matter what happened or where the two of you ever went, best buds for life. Wow....could it be any further from the truth?

Life is one strange trip. At times it is frustrating, exhausting, and never certain, while at other times has this exciting, copacetic existance that exudes a sublime ambience.

Either way, people will always disagree on which world we live on at any given moment.

No matter how good or bad things are today, do you ever find yourself reflecting on the "good ole days", which of course always look so much better in hindsight?

I sometimes find myself overcome with acute nostalgia for my days on the Shore. Which is part of the reason I do not want to go back [to live]. I have such great memories growing up there, I feel like if I went back now, everything now would feel shitty in comparision.

No matter how planned you think you have things, no matter how certain you believe you are of what is going to happen next, life is unscripted and bewildering. That is certain.

Credit Card Phone Flirting?

Per request, here is a blog I wrote in January of '07 after a very odd experience.
Please to enjoy...

So maybe I should just chalk this up to cultural differences or something, but I wonder if perhaps my sexual aura is just so strong it captures everyone in its path like a tractor beam. Tell me what YOU think.

The other day I got a message on my answering machine from Capital One saying that I should call them to get my interest rate lowered. Well, my interest rate is pretty damn high, so this sounded like a good idea. And they called me, right? I am sure they will lower it at least a percent or two. Today during my trip home from 'the office' aka my dark room with lots of tv's & buttons, I decided to make that call to the credit card company. On the other line was a fairly well spoken Middle Eastern male, who sounded more robotic than human at times.

The conversation went down something like this.....

Me: I got this call from you, yada yada yada, I would like to see if my interest rate could be lowered.
Credit Man: Yes sir, let me pull up your information in the computer.
Me: Okay(While we wait for it to come up on his screen)
Credit Man: How has your morning been today?
Me: Fine, thanks.
Credit Man: Good....Did you have a good New Year holiday?
Me: Ummm......yeah, it was good.......uhh, how was your holiday?(I'm thinking, he is a nice guy, trying to make conversation while we wait)
Credit Man: Yes, I have holiday.
Me: ??? Okay.
Credit Man: Sorry, we cannot lower your interest rate at this time, yada yada yada.

Let's pause the conversation for a moment.

Why the hell did these people leave a message on my phone to call and lower this if they were not going to do it in the first place?

I have a theory......lets continue.

Me: Okay, well thanks.
Credit Man: Anything else I can help you with?
Me: No, that is it today Thanks for your help.
Credit Man: May I say something else to you?
Me: Alright
Credit Man: You sound very wonderful on the phone
Me: ??????????
Credit Man: ......................
Me: Alright, thanks. Bye

I cannot be 100 percent sure, but I think he was still talking when I hung up.

Now, am I imagining things, or was this guy hitting on me? It could definitely just be a lack in communication and the differences in the cultures, but it was pretty awkward at the time. So, my theory....they never wanted to lower my interest rate. This was a plan by credit man to get me to call him so he could talk to me and work on his game. Too bad for him I am taken.....and heterosexual.

Weird.

I just must be so damn sexy, I attract both women & men across the globe!

DAMN MY RUGGED GOOD LOOKS!!!!

Any opinions?

Super Bowl Ads

Super Bowl XLIII (that's 43 for all you non-Roman numeral speaking folks) came and went Sunday, and back at work most of you are probably spending 10 seconds talking about the game, which was very good by the way, and the rest of your time discussing the infamous Super Bowl advertisements...not so good.

Overall, I was extremely disappointed with this years' ads. There were a few good ones here and there, but even the best of super ads '09 were second fiddle to those of years past.

A few of my favorites include:

Miller High Life 1-second ad.

This was really pure genius. Reminds me of Ollie Williams doing the weather.

As the shortest ad ever to air on Super Bowl Sunday, it caused plenty of buzz. The media covered it so much prior to the Super Bowl that this meager 1 second turned into the most talked about Super Bowl ad of the year. Sometimes less really IS more.

Cash 4 Gold was one of the funnier ads, starting off looking like any other C4G commercial, only sadder because Ed McMann was leading the way. It quickly turned to laughs as M.C. Hammer backed up old Ed with some of his own gold for sale.

Teleflora, for me, was one of the better ads. I just loved watching the flowers talk crap to the woman. There has probably been someone in all our lives at one time or another whom we would have loved to tell off with some shit talking flowers. Million dollar idea right there.

ETrade babies are usually funny and on this particular Sunday evening they did not disappoint, flexin' the golden pipes for our pleasure (that sounded dirty).

Movie Trailers - I do not remember ever seeing so many previews for upcoming films, but it was a nice glance at what was to come.


THE SO-SO




For all you SNL fans out there Pepsi's "Pepsuber" ad offered a couple of chuckles, however the Pepsi Max 'I'm Good' commercial kinda took the wind out of their sails and threw the company into the so-so category.

Godaddy.com has never been the best of the super ads, but they always stay true to the 'sex sells' theory. I respect that.

Doritos did an alright job with their ads, but nothing I would write home to mom about. I am always a fan of breaking things so the snow globe through the vending machine was a nice moment for me, however, it is not deserving all the hype received from other critics.
Who actually writes home these days? Don't these people have cell phones?

Careerbuilder was not bad, but I felt like I was (or should have been) on drugs.

Audi, not bad, but I will forget it in a week.

Cheetos, also not bad, but I will forget it tomorrow.

Coke, just did not do it for me this year. Their ads were average at best.

This Priceline.com ad was no different than any other Priceline commercial. It was fine for your average commercial spot, but does not come close as a standout among the giants of Super Ad Sunday. Gotta step up your game, Shatner.


The bad

Sobe's ads went the route of a high budget film that spends the majority of their time and money on special effects. Sobe did the 3D thing which probably would have been a lot cooler if I actually had some 3D glasses. The dancing lizards and NFL stars were not as funny as the Sobe people thought when they were putting this thing together. I am not going to even count the Monsters vs. Aliens as a commercial since it was more like a short children's film.

I don't really expect much out of a business like GE, and that Scarecrow commercial confirmed what I already knew...television commercials are not their strong point.
Spend that money on clean, renewable energy or something!

I can't believe such a titan of the Super Bowl ads has made it to this part of my list, but alas, it is true...the Budweiser Clydesdales were really overkill this year. Enough of the damn horse. If I see them one more time I am gonna drive up to St. Louis and turn every one of those damn mascots into glue. The main reason Budweiser gets thrown into this category is because they are held to such a high standard. There were maybe one or two of their spots that made me grin, but overall their ads smelled like horse shit...more specifically, Clydesdale shit.

I don't expect much out of Taco Bell, and that is pretty much what I got.
Not impressed.

Monster.com, I have forgotten you already.

Overstock.com just bored me.

Anyone else I did not list on here I either forgot about or just did not feel like taking the time and finger energy to list. Basically, if they are not on the list, there is a good chance the ad falls into the BAD category.

4 chords = stardom

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Communi-what?

How is it that a business, which job is to communicate information to the public, is so very awful at the very concept of "communication?"

When it comes to broadcasting the news, we are definitely in the top three, however it boggles the mind as to how we stay on air everyday given the complete lack of internal communication.

People just don't talk to each other. When there are problems, they need to be addressed to all those affected. When there is a change to a show, people directly involved with that show need to be told. When there is a staff meeting, tell the people you want to come, when that same meeting is cancelled, same courtesy please. Way too often people assume. Not to beat the cliche horse, but as it goes,
ASS = U & ME

It is spelled that way for a reason.

If all business ran the way this one does, then NASA would have a control room full of people who failed Algebra I; illiterate authors would be writing all our books; lifeguards would be in the shallow end with floaties on their wrists; color-blind artists would be painting portraits; and deaf 911 operators answering our calls.

It is often quite amazing to me just how bad it can be. Too much is assumed and not enough is communicated to the people who need to be 'in the know.'

Like MLK, I also have a dream. Mine is to live in a world where people talk to each other instead of this shuttle crashing, pis pour righting, rescuer drowning, pink sky/black ocean, no one can hear your crys for help, world.

It's the thought that counts.....or IS it?

Don't lie parents, deep down this is what you are all thinking.

Please to enjoy...

Special thanks to Sandra for finding this little treasure.