Best / Worst Television Fathers

THE BEST

10 - Tim Taylor, Home Improvement
The Tool Man might not have always had all the answers. His 'inventions' might not have always worked the way he planned, but Tim Taylor was a damn decent father. He shared the burden of raising 3 boys with his wife and made it through some difficult times seeking out the Confucius-like advice from his neighbor. Juggling 3 boys that close in age would be hard on any parents. The fact that Tim did it without screwing them up too terribly much is amazing. Plus, he was a pretty funny SOB.

9 - Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
I know what you're thinking..."But Homer is a drunken buffoon! He should be on the worst list." Trust me, I considered it. But then I thought about it and while yes, Simpson is not the ideal father figure (he chokes Bart, is lazy, stupid) he does love his kids and his heart is almost always in the right place. How many fathers would pretend to be a robot and get the living crap beat out of them in one of those robot battles, just to make their son happy? Homer would, and that's why he's my #9.


8 - Howard Cunningham, Happy Days
Also known as "Mr. C", Howard was the type of family man that many would consider the 'fathering total package.' He was loving, generous and friendly but he was also set on the children (his or not) following the rules. Mr. C had a pair of well adjusted children of his own, but he also played a father role towards Potsie, Fonzie & Ralph - a few of his son's friends. The Fonz even lived in Mr. C's garage for a while. Thanks Mr. C.


7 - Carl Winslow, Family Matters
A hard working police officer and fine role model, Carl went above and beyond the call of duty when it came to fatherhood. Not only did he raise 3 fairly normal children, but he also moved his mother into their house, moved his sister-in-law and her son into their house (Carl was a father figure to his nephew, Richie) and even adopted an orphan named 3J. How many bedrooms where in that house? On top of that you have the crazy friends and neighbors Carl must put up with on a daily basis. Carl maintains his father figure role with the legendary Steve Urkel as well. That alone should earn him a spot on the list.

6 - Danny Tanner, Full House
Full House set the stage for unconventional families. A widower living with his brother-in-law & best friend who all help raise his 3 children. After Uncle Jesse marries Becky, they add twin boys to the family tree. Dan is a dad to the children and adults alike in this show. He is always the voice of reason, the stable, loving dad that any kid could wish for. Oh, and he's neat. Like obsessive compulsive neat. He likes things clean. Which is good for kids I assume. The cherry on top, Danny Tanner is a huge dork, which for some reason in this show, makes him really cool.

5 - Tony Micelli, Who's The Boss?
Another single father (and another widower), Tony is the cool, loving dad all us guys hope to be (except for the single part). Loved by the ladies, adored by his kid and his bosses son, Jonathan (good name btw), Tony always has a smile on his face and is always willing to help a total stranger. He cooked, he cleaned, but he was also a man's man - a former baseball pro and still very macho guy. When Samantha would say, "My dad can beat up your dad", she was right. And that's all us men really want anyway...to beat up other dads (or at least appear to be able to).

4 - Mike Brady, The Brady Bunch
This poor bastard was bad off enough when it was him and his 3 boys. Then the sorry sap went and married 60's hottie, Carol, & doubled his offspring. He should have run the other direction the minute she said she had three kids. Oh well. Mike Brady makes the list for being able to put up with 6 freakin' kids and all their crazy shenanigans. He was a solid father figure and a good role model, although maybe not the brightest. BTW....what the hell were they paying architects back then? 6 kids, stay-at-home wife, maid, and a huge house!? Hmmm....maybe Mr. Brady was working for George Jung in his spare time.

3 - Andy Taylor, The Andy Griffith Show
Another widower, Sheriff Taylor raised a little boy named Opie in the town of Mayberry. Andy was a awesome role model, spending quality time with his son (fishing!) and teaching him to always do the right thing. Not much else to say about him. He's freakin' Andy Taylor!


2 - Philip Banks, Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air
He could have almost been my #1. Philip Banks was rich, which made him a great provider. But that is not even a fraction of what made him a great father. He was tough. Like really really tough. He did not take it easy on his kids, or his nephew, like many wealthy parents would....no, he stood up for them, punished them, whooped their ass if need be...all for their own good. He is the type of dad you won't always like, but you will always respect. He is the type of dad that will mold you into a really decent adult, and you will always look up to.

1 - Cliff Hucktable, The Cosby Show
The top TV dad was easy for me. I grew up watching The Huxtables, and always admired Cliff and his parenting ways. The Cosby Show broke through racial barriers with this impressive family. Cliff and Claire had high paying, respectable jobs (a doctor and a lawyer). Cliff brought humor, honesty, and 'tellin' it like it is' parenting to a whole new level. Although the Huxtables should have had the financial means (as much or more than anyone else on this list) to give their kids the easy life, or even to make raising all five of their kids easier (like the Brady's did with Alice), Cliff & Claire took the entire burden of parenting on themselves and taught their kids all about life, love, failure, success, and even how to pull off an awesome 'Cosby' sweater.

THE WORST

10 - Archie Bunker, All In The Family
He was a toss up to me, because in many ways Archie loved his kids. However, he was also the worst role model those kids could have asked for. Dad was racist, sexist, and downright crude at times. He called his son-in-law "meathead" and was generally bad tempered, however over the years he did grow slightly more accepting of different cultures & religions. Because his heart was often in the right place, even though he was still kinda rotten overall, he is no higher than #10 on the worst list.


9 - Frank & Ray Barone, Everybody Loves Raymond

Like father like son. These two are just plain bad dads. Frank spends the majority of his on camera time belittling his two sons - throwing insult after insult at them. Ray is a bumbling father figure (nothing much to be proud of) and hardly ever spends any quality time with his kids. I am pretty sure all three of his children were 'woopsies' and he regrets not practicing safer sex. Everybody loves Raymond....except his kids.

8 - Frank Costanza, Seinfeld
There were not many times you did not hear him yelling, whether it be at his son, his wife, or a total stranger. Frank even invented a Christmas time holiday in which you tell your family members the ways they have disappointed you over the past year (the airing of grievances), and these festivities do not end until someone can pin the head of the household to the floor (the feats of strength). In true Seinfeld fashion, Frank is more concerned about baseball than his own child. In "The Caddy", after Steinbrenner tells the Costanzas of their son's apparent death, Frank seems indifferent and instead demands to know why he would trade Yankee ball player Jay Buhner away. Gee, thanks dad.

7 - Al Bundy, Married With Children
Al Bundy was sort of a more modern version of Archie Bunker, but much worse. He is the epitome of an underachiever, as he works as a women's shoes salesman, earning minimum wage. He insults his wife on a daily basis and was not beneath lying, cheating, or stealing to make a buck or get his way. He lost his job multiple times, drank to excess, and the highlight of his day seemed to be sitting on the couch with his hand down his pants. No one in the neighborhood seemed to really like him and in one episode when it was thought that he had died, the neighbors sang with joy, only to be disappointed when they discovered it was not true.

6 - Don Draper, Mad Men
Don is a man's man. He leads the life that many would almost idolize. That doesn't mean he is a good person, and definitely not a great dad. When he isn't out having affairs, drinking to excess, or lying to everyone who knows him, he is a less than attentive father who sits his kids in front of the TV to keep them busy, hires a babysitter to help out the majority of the time so he doesn't have to work as hard at being a 'dad' and even leaves them completely (with the babysitter) to go sleep around with his lady friends. And this is on the days of the week the kids come to stay with him via the divorce! Nice quality time with dad....or not.

5 - George Oscar Bluth, Sr, Arrested Development
George was once the CEO of the Bluth Company, however he was imprisoned after an investigation found he had been conducting some "creative accounting" practices. Unfortunately for him, that was only the tip of the iceberg. In prison he tries to continue to control the company and undermines his son, Michael, and his authority. Mix in a business partnership with Saddam Hussein, faking his own death and escaping to Mexico, and inventing the faulty "Cornballer" (which was banned in several countries) and you have a recipe for daddy disaster.

4 - Tony Soprano, The Sopranos
This one just seems obvious to me. Yeah, he loves his kids (in his own way), but if he really loved them and cared about their well-being, he would not repeatedly put them in harms way...ya know, being in the mob and all. He is actually more attentive and caring than many of the dads on this list. He goes their his kids school events and tries to give them a good life, hopefully one not like the life of crime he chose. However, Tony also tortures and kills people. He puts his kids in harms way more than once, he lies to them constantly and does not represent the adult even he would want them to grow up to be, thus the reason he is #4 on my list.

3 - Dexter Morgan, Dexter
Yes, the serial killer we all can't help but love is my #3. Dexter is a sociopath who adheres to a 'code' of killing (he only kills bad people / other murders). Really, it is the perfect vigilante justice, but unfortunately for him, not the type of world we live in. Eventually Dexter breeds and ends up with a son named Harrison. While we all love Dexter and while he is not a bad father in many ways, you can't ignore the fact that, while all bad people, he is murdering a plethora of men and women in a society where innocent until proven guilty is still something we like to regurgitate.

2 - Peter Griffin, Family Guy
If my #1 was not such a bad guy, Peter Griffin would have been. He is just awful. He verbally & physically abuses his daughter constantly. He treats his son only slightly better, but still parents like a total jackass. He is the worst role model you could ever be unlucky enough to have. Griffin is a retarded, alcoholic, menace to Quahog.


1 - Anthony Cooper, Lost
Who? Think about it. I'm talking about John Locke's biological father. In case you forgot what made him so bad, let's recap. He conned Sawyer's parents out of all their money, which caused Sawyer's dad to kill both his wife and himself. Later down the road, he tricked Locke into giving him a kidney, only to vanish once he was better, and the cherry on top - Cooper reappeared in Locke's life when he needed money, and dear ole' dad pushed his son out of an eight-story window, paralyzing him. If that doesn't earn ya worst TV father, I don't know what does.