Chili Is Confusing

I don't know the reasoning, but people confuse local television stations channel 2 (NBC) and channel 4 (ABC) all the time. Yes, the two are in close proximity of each other, both being on the Mount P side of the Ravenel Bridge. Channel 4 even used to be the NBC affiliate, which may be a big cause of this confusion. But almost 14 years of ABC News 4 is not enough to end the mix-up between these two rival stations.

I will revisit this enigma again later.

On a related, but seemingly distant topic, the 10th annual chili cook-off took place this past weekend. Hundreds came out to support the Charleston Animal Society while stuffing themselves full of chili, oysters, and beverages.

Live 5 News showed their love for animals with a Mardi Gras theme, which earned them a predictable "Best Presentation" from the judges.

9th circuit solicitor, Scarlett Wilson, had one of the best chili recipes as well as a clever television themed display (Channel 9 News). Wilson took away a deserving "Most Traditional" award from the cook-off with her chili.

The people's choice award goes to the celebrities with the most money donated to their table, which of course goes to the Charleston Animal Society. I do not give this award too much credit since the celebs themselves or their close friends & family could easily drop their own cash in to sway the results. This year, Charleston County Councilman J. Elliott Summey dug deep into his pockets to take home the prize.

A couple of local celebs worth noting, despite the fact that they did not make a stand in the winner's circle, was Cpl. Paul Brouthers with the police department and Warren Peper with the Post & Courier. Both men added very tasty chili to the competition.

The final two trophies were for the "Most Unique" and "Best In Show." Although there were several unusual chili recipes, the Good Morning Charleston chili was honored with "Most Unique" while Channel 2's anomalous chili was awarded the grand prize of "Best In Show."

I am sure those on Coleman Blvd will defend their title to the end, but I think you will find that most people who ate both the "unique" and "best" chili that day would agree that there must have been a mix-up.

Not to say that NBC had a bad chili, in fact it was pretty decent, but ABC's recipe was, in my opinion, a little better. But whether or not you agree which chili tasted better, it is hard to argue with the fact that channel 2's chili was more unique than channel 4's.

Which brings me back to my original point - people are always confusing ABC 4 & NBC 2. Whether it be their location in Mount Pleasant, the talent that works at either station, or the chili they make, even the judges themselves get confused.

Don't believe me? Just look at these two hard facts.

(1) Channel 4's chili was made up of nothing out of the norm. It had beans, tomatoes, beef, some chopped veggies, a little spice, a great mix of flavor but nothing anyone would classify as "unique." I do not know everything that channel 2 had in their chili, but the chunks of steak definitely made it stand out, some might even say in a "unique" way.
(2) One judge told a member of channel 4 that he "really liked the big chunks of steak in their chili." Wrong station guys, turn the channel.

Hell, if nothing else, 4 should have received Scarlett's "Most Traditional" award, which is like the total opposite of unique!

Maybe I'm wrong, but in my expert opinion those last two chili awards were backwards. 2 should have gotten "Most Unique" and 4 should have taken home the belt for "Best In Show." Turn those two awards around and, unlike last year, the awards this year were pretty damn fair.

"I can screw you over"

I am very vocal about my distaste for law enforcement officers. While many do a lot of good it is completely eclipsed by the rotten, heartless, uncaring and unsympathetic ones.

Simply put, a lot of police officers are pricks.

Recently, Texans running back Ryan Moats was pulled over for running a red light while on his way to see his dying mother-in-law. Even in the rush to see his wife's mother in her final moments, Moats took the time to slow to a near stop to make sure there was no oncoming traffic before pursuing through the red traffic light.

Was it technically illegal? Of course. But we are humans and when something as serious as a dying family member is at the focus the time comes to put down your badge and practice a little empathy. The laws were not created so they could be abused by young, apathetic cops.

A 25 year old power tripping cop with a mere 3 years of experience on the force pointed a gun at his wife when they got out of their vehicle. This "officer" held Moats for more than 20 minutes.

When he finally was able to go inside the hospital to see his mother-in-law, she had passed away just moments before he arrived.

On the upside, the department dropped the charges and issued a public apology, however to me, it is too little too late.

The spokesman for the police department said, "At no time did Mr. Moats identify himself as an NFL football player or expect any kind of special consideration,"... "He handled himself very, very well."

I have mad respect for Ryan Moats after this confrontation. He was definitely the better man.

Yet another reason for me to dislike cops.

Protect and serve? My ass.

The Most Uncomfortable Time Of My Life

January, 2004. I am sitting in coach by the aisle. Some girl took my preferred window seat.

Call of nature.

I get up from my cramped space on the plane and make my way to an even more cramped bathroom. Upon exiting the bathroom I am greeted by a flight attendant.

This employee of the sky seems nice. I am asked about my trip to L.A. As I am about to walk back to my seat however, I realize that this conversation has not ended as I continue to receive a plethora of questions and comments.

The way the flight attendant was looking at me and talking to me seemed to be in a way that went beyond the typical airline duties.

Did I mention that this flight attendant was a man?

As the conversation continues it becomes more and more clear this dude does not play for my team. Not that there's anything wrong with that. There are some fine people playing for the other team, however they know to stay in their dugout.

He continues to ask about my trip and talk about various things that I have for the most part forgotten and much I never really heard to begin with. It was not that I was ignoring him, rather I was preoccupied attempting to mentally communicate with anyone and everyone on the plane even remotely looking in my direction to come save me from this awkwardness.

"Jon, come here, I need to show you this!"
"Well, looks like I need to go. See ya."

Much to my chagrin, no one seemed to have ESP. There was no saving Jon.

As the conversation continues the flight attendant talks to me about his home town in Miami, Florida. He tells me I should go for a visit and even offers to "show me around" the city.

What a nice guy!

The steward decides that he wants to exchange contact info and hands me his card, which I quickly slip into my pocket without even taking a glance at it.

He asked me for my contact information, but I was not about to offer that up. Then I would never be rid of him!

"Oh don't worry, I'll contact YOU", I told him. Thankfully he accepted this although I could see the disappointment in his face.

After several attempts to find an exit, I finally made my move away from this strange conversation and went back to my seat.

After several minutes of explaining my uncomfortable bathroom break to the girl sitting in my window seat, I remembered the card he gave me. I removed it from my pocket, and as I read it to myself.

The front of the card said the steward's name (which I no longer remember) as well as a little picture of a person rubbing down another person in the upper corner. Below it indicated that he was in fact some sort of masseuse.

When I turned the card over my eyes grew when I saw "FIRST MASSAGE FREE" written on the back.

Woah. Is this how he picks up guys?

The rest of the plane ride I avoided eye contact with my admirer and he did not bother me again.

Although awkward as hell at the time, it was pretty funny to think back on, especially since he did not kidnap me or anything.

Nice to know I am loved by both sexes.

Life is one strange, dubious trip.

Do you ever sit back and reflect on the past...however many years, and just stare blankly at this memory of your life. I feel like I just got started, but at the same time...where did the years go? Life is a series of changing friends and relationships. In the past 28 years, I have had 16 BEST friends....at least. Growing up I always thought you had one best friend your whole life and that was it, they were married to you in a platonic best friend kinda way forever. No matter what happened or where the two of you ever went, best buds for life. Wow....could it be any further from the truth?

Life is one strange trip. At times it is frustrating, exhausting, and never certain, while at other times has this exciting, copacetic existance that exudes a sublime ambience.

Either way, people will always disagree on which world we live on at any given moment.

No matter how good or bad things are today, do you ever find yourself reflecting on the "good ole days", which of course always look so much better in hindsight?

I sometimes find myself overcome with acute nostalgia for my days on the Shore. Which is part of the reason I do not want to go back [to live]. I have such great memories growing up there, I feel like if I went back now, everything now would feel shitty in comparision.

No matter how planned you think you have things, no matter how certain you believe you are of what is going to happen next, life is unscripted and bewildering. That is certain.

Credit Card Phone Flirting?

Per request, here is a blog I wrote in January of '07 after a very odd experience.
Please to enjoy...

So maybe I should just chalk this up to cultural differences or something, but I wonder if perhaps my sexual aura is just so strong it captures everyone in its path like a tractor beam. Tell me what YOU think.

The other day I got a message on my answering machine from Capital One saying that I should call them to get my interest rate lowered. Well, my interest rate is pretty damn high, so this sounded like a good idea. And they called me, right? I am sure they will lower it at least a percent or two. Today during my trip home from 'the office' aka my dark room with lots of tv's & buttons, I decided to make that call to the credit card company. On the other line was a fairly well spoken Middle Eastern male, who sounded more robotic than human at times.

The conversation went down something like this.....

Me: I got this call from you, yada yada yada, I would like to see if my interest rate could be lowered.
Credit Man: Yes sir, let me pull up your information in the computer.
Me: Okay(While we wait for it to come up on his screen)
Credit Man: How has your morning been today?
Me: Fine, thanks.
Credit Man: Good....Did you have a good New Year holiday?
Me: Ummm......yeah, it was good.......uhh, how was your holiday?(I'm thinking, he is a nice guy, trying to make conversation while we wait)
Credit Man: Yes, I have holiday.
Me: ??? Okay.
Credit Man: Sorry, we cannot lower your interest rate at this time, yada yada yada.

Let's pause the conversation for a moment.

Why the hell did these people leave a message on my phone to call and lower this if they were not going to do it in the first place?

I have a theory......lets continue.

Me: Okay, well thanks.
Credit Man: Anything else I can help you with?
Me: No, that is it today Thanks for your help.
Credit Man: May I say something else to you?
Me: Alright
Credit Man: You sound very wonderful on the phone
Me: ??????????
Credit Man: ......................
Me: Alright, thanks. Bye

I cannot be 100 percent sure, but I think he was still talking when I hung up.

Now, am I imagining things, or was this guy hitting on me? It could definitely just be a lack in communication and the differences in the cultures, but it was pretty awkward at the time. So, my theory....they never wanted to lower my interest rate. This was a plan by credit man to get me to call him so he could talk to me and work on his game. Too bad for him I am taken.....and heterosexual.

Weird.

I just must be so damn sexy, I attract both women & men across the globe!

DAMN MY RUGGED GOOD LOOKS!!!!

Any opinions?

Super Bowl Ads

Super Bowl XLIII (that's 43 for all you non-Roman numeral speaking folks) came and went Sunday, and back at work most of you are probably spending 10 seconds talking about the game, which was very good by the way, and the rest of your time discussing the infamous Super Bowl advertisements...not so good.

Overall, I was extremely disappointed with this years' ads. There were a few good ones here and there, but even the best of super ads '09 were second fiddle to those of years past.

A few of my favorites include:

Miller High Life 1-second ad.

This was really pure genius. Reminds me of Ollie Williams doing the weather.

As the shortest ad ever to air on Super Bowl Sunday, it caused plenty of buzz. The media covered it so much prior to the Super Bowl that this meager 1 second turned into the most talked about Super Bowl ad of the year. Sometimes less really IS more.

Cash 4 Gold was one of the funnier ads, starting off looking like any other C4G commercial, only sadder because Ed McMann was leading the way. It quickly turned to laughs as M.C. Hammer backed up old Ed with some of his own gold for sale.

Teleflora, for me, was one of the better ads. I just loved watching the flowers talk crap to the woman. There has probably been someone in all our lives at one time or another whom we would have loved to tell off with some shit talking flowers. Million dollar idea right there.

ETrade babies are usually funny and on this particular Sunday evening they did not disappoint, flexin' the golden pipes for our pleasure (that sounded dirty).

Movie Trailers - I do not remember ever seeing so many previews for upcoming films, but it was a nice glance at what was to come.


THE SO-SO




For all you SNL fans out there Pepsi's "Pepsuber" ad offered a couple of chuckles, however the Pepsi Max 'I'm Good' commercial kinda took the wind out of their sails and threw the company into the so-so category.

Godaddy.com has never been the best of the super ads, but they always stay true to the 'sex sells' theory. I respect that.

Doritos did an alright job with their ads, but nothing I would write home to mom about. I am always a fan of breaking things so the snow globe through the vending machine was a nice moment for me, however, it is not deserving all the hype received from other critics.
Who actually writes home these days? Don't these people have cell phones?

Careerbuilder was not bad, but I felt like I was (or should have been) on drugs.

Audi, not bad, but I will forget it in a week.

Cheetos, also not bad, but I will forget it tomorrow.

Coke, just did not do it for me this year. Their ads were average at best.

This Priceline.com ad was no different than any other Priceline commercial. It was fine for your average commercial spot, but does not come close as a standout among the giants of Super Ad Sunday. Gotta step up your game, Shatner.


The bad

Sobe's ads went the route of a high budget film that spends the majority of their time and money on special effects. Sobe did the 3D thing which probably would have been a lot cooler if I actually had some 3D glasses. The dancing lizards and NFL stars were not as funny as the Sobe people thought when they were putting this thing together. I am not going to even count the Monsters vs. Aliens as a commercial since it was more like a short children's film.

I don't really expect much out of a business like GE, and that Scarecrow commercial confirmed what I already knew...television commercials are not their strong point.
Spend that money on clean, renewable energy or something!

I can't believe such a titan of the Super Bowl ads has made it to this part of my list, but alas, it is true...the Budweiser Clydesdales were really overkill this year. Enough of the damn horse. If I see them one more time I am gonna drive up to St. Louis and turn every one of those damn mascots into glue. The main reason Budweiser gets thrown into this category is because they are held to such a high standard. There were maybe one or two of their spots that made me grin, but overall their ads smelled like horse shit...more specifically, Clydesdale shit.

I don't expect much out of Taco Bell, and that is pretty much what I got.
Not impressed.

Monster.com, I have forgotten you already.

Overstock.com just bored me.

Anyone else I did not list on here I either forgot about or just did not feel like taking the time and finger energy to list. Basically, if they are not on the list, there is a good chance the ad falls into the BAD category.

4 chords = stardom

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Communi-what?

How is it that a business, which job is to communicate information to the public, is so very awful at the very concept of "communication?"

When it comes to broadcasting the news, we are definitely in the top three, however it boggles the mind as to how we stay on air everyday given the complete lack of internal communication.

People just don't talk to each other. When there are problems, they need to be addressed to all those affected. When there is a change to a show, people directly involved with that show need to be told. When there is a staff meeting, tell the people you want to come, when that same meeting is cancelled, same courtesy please. Way too often people assume. Not to beat the cliche horse, but as it goes,
ASS = U & ME

It is spelled that way for a reason.

If all business ran the way this one does, then NASA would have a control room full of people who failed Algebra I; illiterate authors would be writing all our books; lifeguards would be in the shallow end with floaties on their wrists; color-blind artists would be painting portraits; and deaf 911 operators answering our calls.

It is often quite amazing to me just how bad it can be. Too much is assumed and not enough is communicated to the people who need to be 'in the know.'

Like MLK, I also have a dream. Mine is to live in a world where people talk to each other instead of this shuttle crashing, pis pour righting, rescuer drowning, pink sky/black ocean, no one can hear your crys for help, world.